BWF (Body Words Focus) helps us get from an undesired state to a desired state by understanding how we inwardly communicate to ourselves and outwardly communicate to others.
It is how we manage our state, which is a way of being at any given time. It is how we can control our emotions in any situation rather than allowing a situation or others to control the way we react.
Our state determines how we feel and behave and it’s a combination of the way we are feeling, our body language, our cognitive process and the connection it makes in our brain, which ultimately determines our state.
Anger, happiness, love, nervousness, sadness, meditative, these are all states that we may want to get out of or get into.
Someone cuts us up on the motorway, we can choose our reaction, annoyance, anger, pity or just being calm. The other person does not make us get angry that is the choice that we have made for ourself.
These are the three factors that will determine your state:
Your Body language, your physiology the way that you hold and shape your body and control your breathing. Just standing up from a sitting position and stretching will create a state change.
The Words that you use, whether you are talking inside your head or to others, it’s the choice of words. Expand your use of words that have a positive and complimentary meaning and ou will find that a more resourceful state comes naturally.
Your Focus, the questions you ask yourself. What we focus on is what we experience. Internal questions such as “why can’t I do this” and “why do I never have any luck” Change those words to “I can do this” and “ I make my own luck” will mean that a far more beneficial outcome can be achieved.
To be best prepared to achieve a desired outcome we need to be in our most resourceful state. Going into a meeting, a sporting event or having that difficult conversation with a family member and not being in peak state (which could also be termed as being in the wrong frame of mind) will lessen the chance of a successful outcome.
When I run a coaching session I need to be in peak state. If I were slumped in my seat (body) I would not be able to ask the right questions (words) because I have something else on my mind (focus); I would not be in my most resourceful state to enable my client to move themselves forward towards their goal. My whole demeanour would communicate to that person that I was not interested in them or what they had to say.
To get into peak state requires adjustments in three areas:
Sit up straight, take deep breaths, run through your mind how good a coach you are and that you will benefit your clients/team, use the words that allow you to focus on the most important thing because ‘the most important thing is always the most important thing’.
Another way to change your state would be to create an “anchor”, by making a link to the desired state through an association to a certain emotion through repetitive use of a trigger. Get into peak state and then make a movement, say a word, tug or press on a part of your body and repeat the process until the trigger can automatically move you into your peak state.
When working with a client the BWF model is not just for me to use on me, it is a process that they can subconsciously adopt to enable them to reach their goals as quickly as possible. I can’t sit there and explain what BWF is and how it works. It needs to be achieved through the overall coaching sessions and importantly by my example.
Ask them how they would feel when they reach their goal, how would they stand, what would they say, what questions had they asked of themselves to get there. Ask them who they admire and why, what do they think has made that person so successful, well liked, respected, excellent at what they do. Is there anything that they could learn from that person.
David Kentish is an experienced Coach working with young people. You can contact him on 01778 561326 or firstname.lastname@example.org